You begin life at zero and zero marks the end of your being: zeros are the bookends of life.
While the beginnings and the endings of life are mostly out of our control, what is in our control is how we spend the time that we have and how we leave world in the end. Even if our death is untimely and sudden, we do have a lot of control over how live up until that point and how we leave the world, when we get to zero.
Zero Marks the End
We often tell clients that “A life can go un-lived in so many ways.” That’s the real shame of it. Most of us will walk through life unaware and unclear about what a fully lived life would look like for ourselves. Most will default to a program handed to us by our parents, our friends, and/or our society without giving much thought to what we want for ourselves and the impact we want to supply for those whom we love or can help.
A “midlife crisis” is the classic ramification of running someone else’s or societal programs in our lives and then wake up and realize you do not know who you are, where you are, or how you got there.
Zero Regrets
Besides the mid-life crisis, there are other more serious considerations as you face death. Bonnie Ware documented in her international best seller the top 5 regrets of those sitting on their death beds including: the courage to live a life true to oneself, working less, being their for friends, being happier, and sharing feelings. A longitudinal study conducted by Harvard University found that happiness was most derived from a stable income, focus on relationships and experiences rather than stuff, practicing acceptance, and small things like short commute times. Side note: Interestingly a lot of these items conjure up Thinking From Zero Principles: Zero Out Stuff, Zero Out the Commute, Caring Zero Percent What Other People Think, and Life with Zero Judgement and Zero Approval for What Others Do (aka Acceptance).
Balance = Zero
Life can get us out of balance without good design. For those who are driven and motivated, you could find yourself very successful (a big plus), but very unhappy (a big minus) because your personal life is in shambles. The opposite can also be true when you feel like you haven’t found work that matches your state of being, yet you have a loving partner and family. Many of us are living for our resumes, societal norms, or external validation and not our eulogies (which arrive at the end point of life).
A Call to Start at the End
To all this we say, “Begin with the end in mind.” Let’s start from the zero point of the end of life and work our way backwards. For those looking to grow and find the next levels of life, love, happiness, and fulfillment you will need to invest the time to think through where you want to go, how you will get there, and what you will have to become in order to reach your personal and professional goals with happiness and fulfillment. Have you written a obituary resume or eulogy resume? Are you living for your resume or your eulogy right now? It maybe time to step back and rethink and redesign with the zero point in mind.
It Works
You can develop your own frameworks and processes for thinking from the zero point that is death or check out our tools developed by Eric Mathews in 2017 when he felt he was at a crossroads and need to systematically think through what he wanted for the next phases of life. The prompts, questions, and frameworks that changed his life work and will get you on to your own courageous pathway.